Question: Me and my boyfriend are both born again believers, he has been a christian for 5 years and I have for just over 6 months. We have had a problem with sexual sin and are continually trying to fight this temptation. How do we prevent this from happening again?
Answer: With the help of the Lord I will lay out a number of Bible principles which I would suggest you take and prayerfully apply to your current situation.
Bible principle teaches there is no place for dating for fun. It is a very serious thing to trifle with the affections of another person. So if a couple is just dating around with no intent to get married they should break up the relationship whether they are having problems with sin or not.
New believers need to get established in the faith before they consider marriage. If a person is newly saved what should be foremost in their life is getting established in the Christian faith. This includes finding a spiritual congregation with a God-called minister, finding a same-gender Christian to mentor and disciple you, establishing a new set of friends, and becoming established in the Christian faith.
After a couple gets the mind of the Lord that he wants them to get married, I would hold that Bible principles teach a short courtship of 3 months and that the couple would NEVER be alone but always have a spiritual adult with them. Also that the courtship would be hands off and the couple would be kept accountable with a weekly phone call from a spiritual adult of the same gender to make sure they are not declining spiritual or giving into the flesh or any secret sins.
I believe that Bible principle would teach that even in the case where a couple are courting with the intent to get married, if they fall into sin they should break off that relationship for a period of 6 months. During this time the couple should not see each other at all and be spending lots of time in prayer and the Word and receive spiritual counsel. If after the 6 months they feel like they are in a spiritual condition to keep pure they could enter back into the courtship if they are both clear it is the Lords will.
If this is followed the chances of the couple falling into sin will be minimized.
Fornication is not only a sin against God but a sin again your body (1Cor 6:18) and it is a sin that causes someone else to sin also. The word of God instructs us to “flee youthful lusts” (2Ti 2:22). You have not only sinned yourself and against your body, which is the Lords, but you are responsible for causing another person that is trying to live for the Lord, to sin also. His spiritual blood is on your hands.
Godly sorrow brings repentance unto salvation and it works in us carefulness what we don’t fall back into sin, eagerness to be completely clear from the sin we fell into, indignation and a holy hatred against that sin, fear of falling back into that sin, vehement desire to live holy, zeal for purity, and revenge against the devil (2Cor 7:11).
If you are continually falling back into this sin either you are not following good godly principles or you have not truly had godly sorrow and repentance.